July 25, 2006

'How far is Israel allowed to go?'

This satiric version of the show's web-presentation re-dubs the motto of the Sabine Christiansen chat show: "There is nothing to say. Let's talk about it."

Last Sunday night, Sabine Christiansen (realistic, if not humble, self assessment: "Germany's most watched and most important political television presenter") hosted a chat show headed: "Wie weit darf Israel gehen?" (How far is Irael allowed to go?)

Christansen, a former Lufthansa ground hostess (or was it flight attendant?) turned news anchor, whose main qualification for her job as TV journalist had been her CDU-membership and who had allegedly been the only news anchor unable to write her own footage as colleages gleefully revealed, has turned the chat show named after herself into Germany's most successful TV event with a string of high-profile guests under her belly.

Last Sunday's guests included Shimon Peres, Minister for Foreign Aid Heidemarie Wieczorek-Zeul, Mohammed Nazzal from the Generaldelegation Palästinas, Manfred Lahnstein, President of the DIG, Ulrich Kienzle, journalist and Middle East expert and Tommy Lapid, former Israeli minister of justice.

Christiansen, who is so simple-minded that she makes a kindergarten teacher apprentice look like Condoleeza Rice, manages invariably to keep the objective of her show at the shallowest level possible and, I'd say out of principle if I'd think that woman knew what a principle IS, interrupts her guests at each and every interesting turn to ask another abysmally dumb question to make sure that the event is saved from becoming even remotely interesting, and don't get me started on her talking with her hands all the time as if Herbert von Karajan were conducting Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries".

The fact that millions of Germans are watching that downlevelling brainwash and that celebrities are queueing up to be interviewed by Christiansen does not speak for her but for the bottomless bilges to which intellectual level of the German mainstream has declined and the dire need of celebs to do anything (but ANYthing!) to get their mugs on air.

Now back on topic: What IS the reply to 'How far is Irael allowed to go?'

No, it is not: 'Why the hell aren't you asking how far Hamas or Hezbollah are allowed to go?'.

The answer is, of course: 'To Tehran!'

The idea wasn't mine. Thanks to Gudrun Eussner for the tip!