Grievances that REALLY matter...

A harmless enough occasion, that draw for the 2006 Football World Cup at Leipzig last week, with Pele and other geriatric FIFA officials, a bad Dutch conjurer and Germany's president Horst Köhler, watched by 350 million people worldwide. But is was not fit for the members of that 'young well-educated society' dwelling in that 'fascinating country' (Angelika Beer, German Greens MEP). Why? Because 'supermodel' Heidi Klum failed to appear in a garment fit for the sensitivities of the TV viewers among the 'young well-educated society' of that 'fascinating country'. So Heidi was cut out and the show was broadcast with a tiny time slip.



My favourite fishwrap, the Al Guardian, always known for mercilessly revealing grievances that REALLY matter, gave voice to Heidi's distraught Dad:"

I don't understand it. What about the dancer? She revealed far more flesh than Heidi," Günther Klum told Bild am Sonntag newspaper, referring to the magician's assistant, who appeared in a bikini top.

Did I get that right, Günther? Had those members of that 'young well-educated society' censored somebody else and not your Heidi it would have been fine?

However, Iranians were happy at the draw. Their two TV presenters told viewers that "Inshallah" (God willing), Iran would end up in Group D with Mexico, Angola and Portugal. When this came to pass, they jumped for joy and kissed each other.

We are relieved. Everything to make them happy!