March 02, 2006

I was right!

Reality DOES beat satire!

Here is the "comment" from "Mark Wineters", or maybe it was his even uglier cousin Mark Methanolters this time.

If somebody can tell me what the point of this drunken drivel is, apart from showing that he can spell "malodorous lugubrations", that is, he'll get a gift subscription to "Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly - There are no hopeless cases" from me:
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur
rrpabapabapelch!!! Want to hear my alphabet too? Yawn!!! Borrrr-Innnnnng!!!! Say, Cowgirl, they call me Wyatt Errrrp too. Took Inge a long time to come back didn't it? With her re occurring "leitmotifs" on my imbibery? Fun stuff indeed!! But when one is writing one's masterpiece it can't be rushed. It took Wagner 25 years. It took Terence Malick 25 years (The New World). It took Brinhildr 25 days. I can just see her now, typing and fuming away, pecking to pixel her lugubrious lucubration of a satire to the strains of the slow, moody, misty, mystical and malodorous lugubrations of Wagner's Der Ring Des Nibelungen as she made her labored case to the Internet world about those that are of the subhuman. The Underrace. Schtuck on Schtoopid, Fraulein? You can stop sulking now, Heidi. You can take your forefingers out from under your arm pits, Mary Katherine Gallagher. We all know you "do like this", Ms. Molly Shannon. Snifffff. Talk about a Universalist Catholic hypocrite!!! Talk about a pompous European Elitist that thinks it's all about her and the Catholics? (I plagiarize Mac) Just remember, Mutter, while you and your Roland was/were blowing his horn, it was two centuries before that Heraclius succeeded in driving out the Slavs, Persians and Turkic Avars that had invaded Byzantine territory or Europe might be speaking Farsi or Turkic today. Notable for his personal devotion to Christianity, Heraclius' attempts to heal divisions among Christian sects, nevertheless, failed. In 634, Muslim Arabs swept into Orthodox Syria and Heraclius, weary from years of fighting the barbarian hoards, lost both Orthodox/Coptic Christian Egypt and Greek Orthodox Christian Syria to them, nevertheless preventing the Islamic advance into Asia Minor and, thus, from crossing the Bosphorus into Europe proper. Centuries of wars against the Islamic Arab/Turks ensued. About the time of Roland, the brothers, Cyril and Methodius, were converting the Slavs and the Bulgars to Christianity even devising a alphabet for them (Cyrillic) thus creating more Christian buffer states to fend off Islam and the other Barbarian hoards. All of two centuries after Roland the Latin Roman Church and the Greek Orthodox Church excommunicate each other in their famous Schism of 1054. (A case could be made that the Byzantine Empress Irene should have married of her son, Constantine the sixth, off to Charlemagne's daughter, Rotrud, instead of putting his eyes out and taking the Throne for herself but, that's water under the bridge.) However, the first Crusade was initiated by a call from Byzantine Emperor Alexius Comnenus to Catholic Pope Urban the Second for help against the Turks. The Roman Catholics helped the Orthodox to regain ...
And so on and on and on and on. I spare you the rest and thus save perfectly good cyberspace.

And what do we have here?
And you can bet your sweet bippy the above is going over to Roncesvalles right about NOW, but I'll lay odds that it won't be printed, although I'll bet it will be read ...
Oh dear! Maybe I oughtn't to limit the reward I posted above to a gift subscription to "Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly". The winner of my little sweepstake may alternatively choose a copy of "How to Help the Compulsive Gambler - Brief instructions in 1488 easy steps" or "How To Unstick One's Carriage Return Key Even When Drunk - A manual for the braindead".

3 comments:

Mark Heinekenbelch said...

Damen und Herr. It's not attacking, giving in like kind. What puzzles me about Nora is that she seems to have all the answers, in her own mind that is. There are no life perplexing questions with her. No mysteries. Everything is all nicely figured out. And God forbid if one asks an intentionally provocative question to spur debate on a subject. That is unforgivable, to that Cyber Vixen self styled Think Tank of One, passing judgement on all. Judge, jury and verbal executioner. And to those that are on the road to discovery and happen to cross her path, they will be rebuked for not having what she would deem as the proper advancement towards "enlightenment". IT'S A PROCESS, NORA. Different people are on different parts of the road at different times. Ridiculing them is not the best of ways to win them over, understand? And wasn't having all the answers what got the Germans into such trouble in the first place? Grow up, Nora. And I find it most amusing that Nora satirizes the drinking of spirits since it is well known Catholic history that fine German beer was perfected in German Catholic Monasteries. A German with a thing against drinking? What kind of German are you, Gerty? A woman with a thing against flirting? The French would call you a prude, Nora. Why don't you have some fun in life, instead of playing the thought Gestapo looking over everyone's shoulders for what you deem are inappropriate speech patterns?

Out of respect for the Host I will not post this one on Roncesvalles but I'm guessing you will be reading here anyway, so why bother. And your site gets zero traffic anyway, Beach!! So why not come back here and vex us in person. Come back and take it like the man that you are. This goes to show you that conservatives can fight amongst themselves as well as "progressives" can. I, too, found Nora's politics compatible but her personality? No.

And, Nora, why don't you post the rest of my "masterpiece". You stop right where the Catholics are helping the Orthodox. You leave out the best part of the story. But then you like to print only Catholic history I guess. Get a grip, Gretchen. What in the hell do you know about Goethe anyway, Martha!! Mephistopheles decaf is right!!

Marco Hefenweisenburpen said...

Out of respect of our Host I started posting at "Roland Land" again. Under the cleverly concealed names of Mark Wineters (her name for me), Mark Heinekenbelch and Markus Hefenweisenburpen. It is really getting good over there. Doc's new Allias is The Waffling Warrior. Wunderbar!!! She had the audacity to print only half of my post, above, concerning the other half of the history (the half she never read and is conveniently left out of the Catholic histories) that kept Europe free from Islam for TEN CENTURIES, stopping at the point where it says,"The Catholics helped the Orthodox". Very convenient, Gretchen! Convenient to your one sided version of history it seems. And what in the hell do you know about Goethe anyway, Martha!!! Let's hear it. You've played your card, now expound on the subject. "Mephistopheles decaf" my ass!! Or, to quote a well known line from "Gotz von Berlichingen","Er kann michim Arsche lecken". Sie ist gerichttet!!! Just stick to your dog gene manipulations, Frau Fumplish. And your stimulating equestrian saddle horn outings. And, make sure you figure out where the safety is on that gun you're trying to figure out. Remind me to not go hunting with you. How was hunting season by the way? What were you hunting for? Is your goose cooked yet? But I really must thank you for the fun. And I'll even thank you in your native tongue, with my own brand of dialectical idiosycracy. Donkey Shane, Nora!!! Let's not be bitter now.

The_Editrix said...

It's spelt "idiosyncrasy".

Oh yes, and "Heineken" is not a German brand.